Liberation, Freedom, Loving my own skin

so I'm 21 and I am officially lerning myself and I love it. For a long time I have defined myself by the people around me and the way that they view things. Life, relationships, sex, etc. I am finally getting to the point where I have an opinion. Wait, let me rephraase....i have always had an opinion,; i am getting to the point where i am confident in my own opinions and learning to rely on what I think. Of course what i've decided has had it's influences but it is the decision that i have arrived at.

First is the concept of sex......
For a very long time i put sex on the highest petastal. In fact i was not okay with talking about it, I didnt want to think about it. I was freaked out by it. It just was an untouchable topic. I was part of the belief system that sex should only be had in marriage. Then i started to think about exactly what sex meant to me and why i felt like it was only okay in marriage. For me was the idea that marriage meant it was committed and no one else was involved in it. But then i looked at the statistics on marriage and cheating and divorce and infidelity and realized that for most marriage didnt mean that you would be the only two involved in your sexual esperiences. i also realized that I was ruining my chances with any man because i was putting way too much energy into the idea that i wasnt ready to have sex. or that i didnt even want to discuss the idea of sex. My newest decision is that sex is not all bad. I'm not so afraid of it anymore, in fact enjoy it