I am starting to learn that sexual and sensual, though related, are very different things. I was thinking about music and I was thinking of how people say that today's generation has way too much sex in our music and I realize that they are right. There is nothing wrong with sexy but there can be something wrong with raw.
Sexual music appeals to our animalistic nature and makes you horny.
-- Let me throw in this disclaimer before I move forward; there is a time and place for both types of music; but 3 year olds should not know the sexual content of a son......MOVING FORWARD-- A song that I think is very sexual in nature would have to be Chris Brown's - No Bullsh*t. That song is just so raw. Everything is spelled out, even down to wear he keeps the condoms. Don't get me wrong, sometimes that's how it is but should that come on the radio at 2 in the afternoon when I'm riding with my 6 year old sister? Probably not!!
Sensual music makes you feel sexy which may lead you to horny but it's more than that. Sensual music warrants bubble baths, and wine. It makes you want to put on sexy lingerie and seduce your man as oppose to ravish him like a starving animal. A sensual song I think might be Raheem DeVaughn's Customer. It just puts you in a sexy mood. You know he's going to take his time once he finally gets you to that point, but before that he is going to treat you like royalty with the way he's going to take care of.
The thing is young people today don't know the difference between sensual and sexual. It's as simple as the difference between 'baby making' music and 'f*cking' music.
The debate can even spill over to clothes. Young ladies, and men don't realize that to be sexy you don't have to be naked. And that sensuality will attract a man (a good man) quicker than him being able to see a piece of your a** because your skirt is so short. The man you attract dressed like that is the one that sees you scantily clad and thinks that it means that it will be no real challenge to get you to show him the few parts of your body that aren't covered. A woman can be sexy in anything from sweatpants to jeans to a simple black dress.
I guess that's why people believe that the younger generations are a lost cause. Hey it is what it is I guess.....
As TRoy from Power 99 says "these are just my thoughts on what I've been thinking"
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Pornstar to Boyfriend??
Hmmmm, so I just watched an episode of the Real World: Las Vegas and one of the cast members (Dustin) was found out to have done porn and gay porn at that. He was at that point dating another roommate (Heather) who was very upset about the fact that she verbalized her apprehension to enter into a relationship who could have done anything with another man and how she felt about the fact that Dustin didn't let her know about it from the beginning.
It made me think could I date an ex-porn star. And if I could go for someone who did gay porn. The thing about the gay porn that paused me was the fact that Dustin said that he is straight and that he was able to engage in homosexual behavior with not feeling. I do know that they majority of men who do gay porn are straight (don't ask me how I know), and I don't know how I feel about that. But what I really cannot do is the fact that there is no feeling. I really don't want to be with any man who can detach sex from emotion. Especially when it doesn't even matter to you that it is someone of the same sex giving you the pleasure -- if you say you are strictly heterosexual. That's so animalistic and humans are supposed to be better than the common beast. It actually sickens me a bit.
Let me give a disclaimer I am not against homosexuality or bisexuality; who am I to judge. But I am against people who can't even make a decision about what they are or what they like. I think it's unfair and is a sign of immaturity. If you like guys like guys; if you like girls like girls; if you like both like both but freaking say it. Don't sleep with men and say you only like women. That is so backwards and retarded. Like I just don't get it.
On the subject of just doing porn, being a porn star -- still NO. I cannot date someone who does or did porn. Oh heck to the naw. I am way too much of a possessive person to have a man who so many other women have had. I just can't think about the fact that he's slept with so many people. I mean I just don't want that. I don't like a regular man who's been inside too many women. And then besides the people that he's actually had sex with there are the large number of other people who have seen his stuff. I don't want there to be a possibility that someone watching us out on a date together, or getting married, or having a child has seen all of his goods. It's just weird to me.
So for me it's a no go. And even more of a no go if he lied about it in the beginning of the relationship like Dustin did. That just makes the entire situation even worse.
That's all for now folks....
It made me think could I date an ex-porn star. And if I could go for someone who did gay porn. The thing about the gay porn that paused me was the fact that Dustin said that he is straight and that he was able to engage in homosexual behavior with not feeling. I do know that they majority of men who do gay porn are straight (don't ask me how I know), and I don't know how I feel about that. But what I really cannot do is the fact that there is no feeling. I really don't want to be with any man who can detach sex from emotion. Especially when it doesn't even matter to you that it is someone of the same sex giving you the pleasure -- if you say you are strictly heterosexual. That's so animalistic and humans are supposed to be better than the common beast. It actually sickens me a bit.
Let me give a disclaimer I am not against homosexuality or bisexuality; who am I to judge. But I am against people who can't even make a decision about what they are or what they like. I think it's unfair and is a sign of immaturity. If you like guys like guys; if you like girls like girls; if you like both like both but freaking say it. Don't sleep with men and say you only like women. That is so backwards and retarded. Like I just don't get it.
On the subject of just doing porn, being a porn star -- still NO. I cannot date someone who does or did porn. Oh heck to the naw. I am way too much of a possessive person to have a man who so many other women have had. I just can't think about the fact that he's slept with so many people. I mean I just don't want that. I don't like a regular man who's been inside too many women. And then besides the people that he's actually had sex with there are the large number of other people who have seen his stuff. I don't want there to be a possibility that someone watching us out on a date together, or getting married, or having a child has seen all of his goods. It's just weird to me.
So for me it's a no go. And even more of a no go if he lied about it in the beginning of the relationship like Dustin did. That just makes the entire situation even worse.
That's all for now folks....
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Tights and Glasses sort of day =D
Weeeellllllllllllllllllllll............. yea so today is the kind of day where super chilling is necessary. The kind of day where you tie your hair back, throw on some tights, and don't even bother to put your contacts in. (That's my version of Drake's sweatpants, hair tied, chillin with no make-up on) Chilling on the couch with my laptop, iPods, and a nice cup of tea. So what else does that mean? Another random ass blog post from me. So what's on my mind today, who knows.
I've kind of been thinking about how anti-social I'm becoming. I'm nervous that I get that from my mother. She says "that's why I don't make friends because they expect you to be all friendly and do stuff friends do." It's crazy how I have aspects of my mommy and daddy. Thank God I'm a Gemini or I might go crazy. I mean my daddy was a super social person and he knew someone everywhere we went -- I have that aspect of him. I can run into people almost everywhere I go, it's a little ridiculous actually lol. I am such a moody person too. I have the days where I want to be super social and then days like today when I kind of just want to be left alone and be allowed to zone out with my music. They sad part is I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to be able to do this.
Today is the day before Easter, and like usual dinner is at our house, which means that I need to help my gmom get ready. What does that entail? Helping clean, helping cook, making the last minute store runs....luckily though right now, my gmom is out with her friend Ms Word so she can't bother me. But honestly if she wants help she better get in soon because I'm going to bed at like 7 to be prepared for sunrise service tomorrow.
Every year we have sunrise service on Resurrection Sunday which is no biggie but I need to be awake and ready to sing for 6 am service tomorrow. And I need to be able to stay awake through Sunrise service, Easter breakfast, Sunday School play, regular service, and communion and then to entertain and clean up after family dinner tomorrow night.
I really don't mind the last thing that i have to do. I honestly love every moment with my family. I love spending time with them, just be around them. Hold my little cousins, learn from my older cousins. I feel so sorry for people who don't get along with their family. I am so blessed to be a part of the Williams family; they honestly make me happy. Even when I'm in my most anti-social mood I love being with my cousins.
My "bestie" just bbm'd me and made me think of something. Of all my friends I'm not sure how many of them are really life longers. I mean I am slowly realizing that there are a lot of people in my life who are just there. They don't better me --not that they bring me down-- but they are helping me with anything. When I say that I don't mean they have to do things for me but they need to add something to my life. For example; Meredith and Rachel -- I've decided that they are life longers. One I went on vacay with them and spent 9 hrs in a car with just them when i was exhausted and never got tired of them. And to add to that they are amazing;y positive for my spiritual life. They encourage a closer relationship with Christ and that is something that you need in a good friend. They need to make your life better and what could make my life any better than a great relationship with my Savior. I can talk to them about my spiritual growth and know that they care just as much about my relationship with God as I do. I am so thankful for their presence in life.
I'm not sure what else I want to write in the context of this blog. I think that's it for now, doesn't mean I won't be back later.....time to go listen to these 164 new songs I downloaded yesterday :)
Music = a very HAPPY Anissa =D
I've kind of been thinking about how anti-social I'm becoming. I'm nervous that I get that from my mother. She says "that's why I don't make friends because they expect you to be all friendly and do stuff friends do." It's crazy how I have aspects of my mommy and daddy. Thank God I'm a Gemini or I might go crazy. I mean my daddy was a super social person and he knew someone everywhere we went -- I have that aspect of him. I can run into people almost everywhere I go, it's a little ridiculous actually lol. I am such a moody person too. I have the days where I want to be super social and then days like today when I kind of just want to be left alone and be allowed to zone out with my music. They sad part is I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to be able to do this.
Today is the day before Easter, and like usual dinner is at our house, which means that I need to help my gmom get ready. What does that entail? Helping clean, helping cook, making the last minute store runs....luckily though right now, my gmom is out with her friend Ms Word so she can't bother me. But honestly if she wants help she better get in soon because I'm going to bed at like 7 to be prepared for sunrise service tomorrow.
Every year we have sunrise service on Resurrection Sunday which is no biggie but I need to be awake and ready to sing for 6 am service tomorrow. And I need to be able to stay awake through Sunrise service, Easter breakfast, Sunday School play, regular service, and communion and then to entertain and clean up after family dinner tomorrow night.
I really don't mind the last thing that i have to do. I honestly love every moment with my family. I love spending time with them, just be around them. Hold my little cousins, learn from my older cousins. I feel so sorry for people who don't get along with their family. I am so blessed to be a part of the Williams family; they honestly make me happy. Even when I'm in my most anti-social mood I love being with my cousins.
My "bestie" just bbm'd me and made me think of something. Of all my friends I'm not sure how many of them are really life longers. I mean I am slowly realizing that there are a lot of people in my life who are just there. They don't better me --not that they bring me down-- but they are helping me with anything. When I say that I don't mean they have to do things for me but they need to add something to my life. For example; Meredith and Rachel -- I've decided that they are life longers. One I went on vacay with them and spent 9 hrs in a car with just them when i was exhausted and never got tired of them. And to add to that they are amazing;y positive for my spiritual life. They encourage a closer relationship with Christ and that is something that you need in a good friend. They need to make your life better and what could make my life any better than a great relationship with my Savior. I can talk to them about my spiritual growth and know that they care just as much about my relationship with God as I do. I am so thankful for their presence in life.
I'm not sure what else I want to write in the context of this blog. I think that's it for now, doesn't mean I won't be back later.....time to go listen to these 164 new songs I downloaded yesterday :)
Music = a very HAPPY Anissa =D
Thursday, April 21, 2011
More Random Ramblings
Random Notes on my iPod touch:
Thoughts:
So I often sit and think , How did I become the person I did? Where did my thought process come from? How did I develop the skills I did? Why am I so unique?
I've always been a silver lining type of girl; a wish upon a star type of girl; a little joy in every pain type of girl...so when your say you're leaving all I see are the positives ;)
Quotes:
"Who are you to tell me how to conduct myself; why don;t you practice safe sex and go f*** yourself" -Fabolous
Quotes from the Five People you Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom:
"Strangers are just family you have yet to come to know"
"No life is a waste, The only time we waste is the time we spend thing we are alone."
"We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us, But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do is to ourselves."
"Love lost is still love, Eddie. It just takes a different form, that's all."
A Dream Deferred - Langston Hughes:
What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
Like a raisin in he sun!
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over --
Like a sugary sweet?
Maybe it just sags like a heavy load
Or does it explode?
Thoughts:
So I often sit and think , How did I become the person I did? Where did my thought process come from? How did I develop the skills I did? Why am I so unique?
I've always been a silver lining type of girl; a wish upon a star type of girl; a little joy in every pain type of girl...so when your say you're leaving all I see are the positives ;)
Quotes:
"Who are you to tell me how to conduct myself; why don;t you practice safe sex and go f*** yourself" -Fabolous
Quotes from the Five People you Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom:
"Strangers are just family you have yet to come to know"
"No life is a waste, The only time we waste is the time we spend thing we are alone."
"We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us, But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do is to ourselves."
"Love lost is still love, Eddie. It just takes a different form, that's all."
A Dream Deferred - Langston Hughes:
What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
Like a raisin in he sun!
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over --
Like a sugary sweet?
Maybe it just sags like a heavy load
Or does it explode?
Randomnation
So I came onto my blog today thinking that I wanted to write about the prospect of Donald Trump running for President and then I got here and realized that while I still want to post about that, right now what I really want to talk about are some random things.
1. I am a pretty good judge of character. I was just looking at the post I wrote previously about being young and dating men with children and realized that a previous best friend names Janay posted a comment on it. And what i realized was that what she said was very true, we will always be on the same wavelength. The reason we're no longer as close as we used to be has absolutely nothing to do with us not getting a long or some crazy fight like a lot of friendships end. It was simply because as we grew up we grew closer to other people than each other. I still love Nay to death and I know if I really needed her or needed advice talking to her would always be an option. And I love that. I knew she was a great person when I met her in 5th grade (or was it 6th) and she has not disappointed. She's still an amazing young woman <3
2. I am so spacey sometimes. I had 3 un-finished blog posts sitting in my list of post. I realized 2 things about them, I wanted them posted and I had no idea where I was going with any of them. And that led me to realize that (even though my mama says it's not true) I have slight A.D.D. And maybe not full blown A.D.D. but I am easily distracted, easily bored, and I move on from things so quickly. And that includes so many things. I can be totally engulfed in a guy on week and think he is utterly disgusting the next week. It's crazy how quickly I lose interest in things. Even things that I love like writing.
3. Which leads me to numero tres. Once I feel better (if that's the reason I started writing) or if there is something else to cure my boredom I move one. And maybe sometimes without finishing what I was writing. But I don't really care how people feel about that because I write to release and once it is released there are way too many other things that I need to take of to just sit still and just write. Explains my twitter name a bit, I truly am Miss Busy Bee -- there is always something that I probably should be doing.
4. I saw the draft of me about to write about what was then the upcoming "Bestie Weekend." What that weekend taught me are 3 solid things about myself. 1. I am easily annoyed 2. I quite enjoy being alone 3. I can't spend too much time with any one person. And I'm not at all ashamed of that. I need a lot of variety. Blame it on my being a Gemini. Both sides of me needs to be stimulated and I need a change of people just as much as I need a change of scenery.
5. Why do people feel the need to fill every second of silence with their own voice. I think silence is the most beautiful thing. I love to just take a deep breath and there be silence. The true test of any relationship for me is if we feel comfortable being silent together. We can't just be together in the quiet. And by quiet I usually mean just without talking. We can't just watch tv, or just chill. My grandmother, sister, and aunts are the biggest culprits. Like seriously just be quiet. No one needs to hear your voice every moment you're awake. Like seriously can you say nag.
6. I tweet and write a whole lot more than I talk. I mean don't get me wrong I can talk a great deal if I have something to say but I blog and tweet the most random ish all the time, I just feel like I want to write out what's going through my head. I think the reason being is that I feel like if I tweet it, blog it - it doesn't count as me talking to myself. Which I do a great deal of. And I think a Wayne verse if perfect for this moment "Talking to myself because I am my own consultant"; I mean who could give me better advice for myself but myself lol
1. I am a pretty good judge of character. I was just looking at the post I wrote previously about being young and dating men with children and realized that a previous best friend names Janay posted a comment on it. And what i realized was that what she said was very true, we will always be on the same wavelength. The reason we're no longer as close as we used to be has absolutely nothing to do with us not getting a long or some crazy fight like a lot of friendships end. It was simply because as we grew up we grew closer to other people than each other. I still love Nay to death and I know if I really needed her or needed advice talking to her would always be an option. And I love that. I knew she was a great person when I met her in 5th grade (or was it 6th) and she has not disappointed. She's still an amazing young woman <3
2. I am so spacey sometimes. I had 3 un-finished blog posts sitting in my list of post. I realized 2 things about them, I wanted them posted and I had no idea where I was going with any of them. And that led me to realize that (even though my mama says it's not true) I have slight A.D.D. And maybe not full blown A.D.D. but I am easily distracted, easily bored, and I move on from things so quickly. And that includes so many things. I can be totally engulfed in a guy on week and think he is utterly disgusting the next week. It's crazy how quickly I lose interest in things. Even things that I love like writing.
3. Which leads me to numero tres. Once I feel better (if that's the reason I started writing) or if there is something else to cure my boredom I move one. And maybe sometimes without finishing what I was writing. But I don't really care how people feel about that because I write to release and once it is released there are way too many other things that I need to take of to just sit still and just write. Explains my twitter name a bit, I truly am Miss Busy Bee -- there is always something that I probably should be doing.
4. I saw the draft of me about to write about what was then the upcoming "Bestie Weekend." What that weekend taught me are 3 solid things about myself. 1. I am easily annoyed 2. I quite enjoy being alone 3. I can't spend too much time with any one person. And I'm not at all ashamed of that. I need a lot of variety. Blame it on my being a Gemini. Both sides of me needs to be stimulated and I need a change of people just as much as I need a change of scenery.
5. Why do people feel the need to fill every second of silence with their own voice. I think silence is the most beautiful thing. I love to just take a deep breath and there be silence. The true test of any relationship for me is if we feel comfortable being silent together. We can't just be together in the quiet. And by quiet I usually mean just without talking. We can't just watch tv, or just chill. My grandmother, sister, and aunts are the biggest culprits. Like seriously just be quiet. No one needs to hear your voice every moment you're awake. Like seriously can you say nag.
6. I tweet and write a whole lot more than I talk. I mean don't get me wrong I can talk a great deal if I have something to say but I blog and tweet the most random ish all the time, I just feel like I want to write out what's going through my head. I think the reason being is that I feel like if I tweet it, blog it - it doesn't count as me talking to myself. Which I do a great deal of. And I think a Wayne verse if perfect for this moment "Talking to myself because I am my own consultant"; I mean who could give me better advice for myself but myself lol
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
What Do I Want
When I was 7 years old I had my entire future mapped out. I knew what college I wanted to go to, that i wanted to be, when I would get married, when I would have kids, where I would live, what car I would drive but as I sit in front of my laptop (something I'd never heard of at 7) I'm more lost than I have ever been. So college is over and I didn't go to the school I wanted to at 7; basically because when I went for the visit it just didn't fit anything that I wanted out of my college experience. I didn't even graduate from the college I decided I loved since it got to expensive and I had to switch to a school much closer to home. I'm not done with school I do still want that law degree but it feels a little weird. At 7 I wanted to be married at 18 and have had my first child by 21 (honing in on what my grandmother did) but as 18 started to approach and became closer than 7 was I realized I was not yet over my selfishness enough to become a wife or a mother. They are still my very main goals in life. I want to be a good wife and a great mommy and to give my babies all of the best chances in life and I can't do that if I'm still out trying to have my youth. This is becoming more and more evident as this latest baby boom has hit and I see all of the people who are turning out to be terrible parents. I'm realizing more that I want to learn as much as I can and experience as much as I can so that I can talk to my children about everything I've experienced to help them get through whatever. And how can I be a great wife when I still want to travel the world with my girlfriends and flirt with boys in different states and countries. According to astrology as a Gemini I am the most likely of the signs to commit an infidelity in a relationship and though I haven't yet and due to the pain I've seen my family experience through infidelity I don't believe that I will -- but I do want to give myself the best chances at a healthy, life long marriage. I want to figure out who Anissa is before the labels of wife and mother are placed on me and I lose my identity in my family. Not that I think that that is a bad thing, it's what I want, but I don't want to have to do that until I've lived my life. I just want to take that time.
And the reason for this whole rant thingy really has to do with my career. Law is an eventually thing I am sort of thinking that I want to try my hand at being a personal assisitant. All of last week I was playing Personal Assistant for my mother while she was getting everything ready for her birthday party that was Saturday, I tweeted about how I was playing personal assistant and somneone aksked if I was one because they were looking for one, I gave her my email and told her to send me the details but she hasn't sent them yet. And then today a FB friend who is a musician is
And the reason for this whole rant thingy really has to do with my career. Law is an eventually thing I am sort of thinking that I want to try my hand at being a personal assisitant. All of last week I was playing Personal Assistant for my mother while she was getting everything ready for her birthday party that was Saturday, I tweeted about how I was playing personal assistant and somneone aksked if I was one because they were looking for one, I gave her my email and told her to send me the details but she hasn't sent them yet. And then today a FB friend who is a musician is
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