Changing for the Better

There are so many things going on in my head right now that I'm not sure where to go first.

1. I'm attempting to change who I am.....thanks to Meredith and Rachel I've started a prayer journal for the first time (knowingly). And I've been at it for a week now and I must admit that I am feeling a lot less anxious during my days. I write down the things that i really need to pray for and its making me feel oh so much better! Meredith gave me a liost of "Ways you should know God" and its helped give me a place to start. Its crazy because every single night the way it has been showing me God is the exact way that i needed him that day and i think that is telling me that it was a good idea to go about it this way. Now I need to go on the search for a good devotional for when the list is complete so that i dont slack, or maybe I'll start reading the books about the women of the Bible again so I can model myself after them....hmmmm that's a good idea...i need to write that down somewhere....oh wait I kind of already did.

2. I'm also in search of a new church. Antioch met my needs at 5 but at 21 there just feels like there is absolutely nothing there for me....so I need to like visit and see what fits for me. I mean so far I have fallen in love with Calvary, we went for a service and the pastor seriously like spoke directly to me! It really was so good. I think I'm past being "Baptist" and the "all-black" churches....I'm ready for a non-denominational multicultural place that speaks to who I am at this point in life.

3. The journal forced me to do a good deed. I kno that Kacie and i didnt get along this summer at camp and I thought about how uncomfortable certain things may have been between us, so I wrote her a facebok message and apologized for everything. i felt like i atleast owed her that because i was sort of horrible and I really dont want to make people feel like that anymore... But I think i need to ask God for forgivingness because i also wrote a letter to Courtney and I think I may have done that just to see what she would say. I think I thought God was ompelling me to do that, or atleast I told myself that he was and I knew all along that that was what I wanted to do....i was being ridiculous like really ridiculous!

4. My circle of friends may be changing as well....I havent hung out for real for real with -- and them since i think like two or three weekends ago and i'm kind of okay with that. But, I havent seen Meredith since Wednesday and I'm so upset. I think they epitamize the life that i want to lead in the future. I mean I can see them in my future the way that I want it to be. Plus they are holding me accountable to God for my prayer journal and I really really need that right now....I'm so thankful for them in my life and I love them to death!! I mean i do still love my TU fam!

5. Friday is powerhouse and I am so freaking excited! I cannot wait.....Jay-Z, Jadakiss, Day 26, TREY SONGZ, Jeremih, Mario, and Keri Hilson. I cannot wait it is going to be so good and a nice stress reliever!!! So stinking excited its not funny!

I think that's all there is to get out right now....I'll come back i promise haha